Tug of war

What am I doing? That is the one question that I toss around my head like a tennis ball. I hear the hollow bounce sound, I know what it is, but I am focused on something else. I know that thought so well, and with every bounce its the same question, and for some reason every time it is asked, I feel like I have to formulate a different answer.

Well, I'm moving.

I'm making art?

I am going with the flow.

I am freaking out.

I am sleeping now.

I am saying the wrong things.

I am making change.

I am restless.

Thats what I'm doing right?

I caught myself looking at both my blogs on the dashboard of "blogger home page". One for my fine art work and one for photography, makes sense... I was stupid to think that those two things could be separate. And here I find myself completely set-up, in a mess that I created for myself by establishing a divide. I am drawing on photographs, I am painting digitally. You would think I'd know in what blog they go in since all through seminar we've been categorizing art like its our job, when its quite the opposite really. --Paying lots of money to learn how to categorize what is strictly opinion and perception.-- But no, I am at a complete mesh point in my art where it is neither photography nor painting, however it has very limited mediums incorporated, so does is automatically become fine art?

I've been finding that a lot lately, catching myself conforming to ideas that I would much rather remain disconnected from yet aware of at the same time.

I would really like to remain curious. And really see how far down this rabbit hole I can go.